Friday, January 29, 2010
TN Child SupportEnforcement
I chose this topic because it has hit home for me in many ways. First of all, I was a product of a single parent household. My father was not with my mother and did not pay any child support to help with my care as a child. My mother was the the head of household for three childreen and did not get child support for either one of us. I remember my mother attempted to collect some type of support from our father, but she was always unsuccessful. I grew older and I married a man that had two children before our union. Juvenile Court took actions to attack my funds as well as my husbands. We had to keep separate accounts and file taxes separate at all times. I do understand that it is the total responsibility of a man who has fathered a child. In fact, I say that is should be no other way for a mother to find means to support a child except through the funds of the father. The system has truly made it hard for men in Tennessee. Men are trying to take care of more than one family. The State of Tennessee Juvenile Court System takes as much as 32% of a man's pay and then will make him pay for additional aid if the mother of the child chooses apply for it without his consent or knowledge. This in turns increases the child support debt with the State of Tennessee almost making it impossible for a man to ever get off the system. If the primary caregiver,normally the mother, applies for food stamps and AFDC for her and any additional children, these monies have to be paid back by the non-custodial parent, normally the father. This makes it very hard for a man of lower-middle class or less to afford to take care of himself or his new family. Men often have to get second and third jobs to stay afloat. Is the Tennessee Child Support System making me pay for going on with their lives? We will see.
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While I agree with you that the child-support enforcement tactics and rules as they apply to the non-custodial parent can seem harsh at times, the alternative finds the custodial parent struggling to support the children that are both parents' responsibility. Otherwise, the taxpayers foot the bill and the custodial parent is trapped with attaining and supporting children they only co-created.
ReplyDeleteI have had two partners who had children from previous relationships. I knew this going into the partnership and fully supported my partner's responsibilities to their children. We would not have dreamed of starting ANOTHER family together had the needs of his first children not been met.
I have also watched way too many single mothers that I work with struggle because the fathers of their children were too busy supporting his new wife and kids to support the kids he had with the first wife.
Bottom line, in my mind, is that if you can't afford the kids you have, stop making more and face up to your responsibilities.
First of all I would like to say that I have found someone that share my views! I understand that single mothers struggle out there with men that will not pay any money! It is the men that pay that really get done wrong. Let me share my story with you. I was married to a woman for 5 1/2 years. I get divorced and the judge leaves all the bill on me. He then makes me give up the only car that we had to my ex-wife. If that wasn't enough then she gets the kids, furniture, washer & dryer, etc. The only thing I got to take was my clothes. At the time of the divorce my wife was having our third child. Well at least that was what I thought! I found out five years later through a DNA test that the the last child was not mine. I went to the courts but the laws stated that because my wife and I were married that it was my resonsibility to take care of a child that was not mine. Yes! It was my responsibilty! I paid about 40% for three children out of my check and health care and I am to pay for any hospital bill that the children may have. I make about 50,000 a year but only take home about 500 every two weeks! I,m still paying for the bill that we got together and on top of all of that I can't even claim my children on my taxes! I pay my ex-wife about 15,000 to 20,000 every year not including the health,dental, vision, and life insurance. I can barely live on the money that I make! I understand that it is men or should I say overgrown boy out there having babies and not taking care of their children. Every real man with a job is having to pay for their mistake while they roam free and do nothing. I have my daughters every other week! It's extremely hard to take them out and spend time when my funds are limited! It unfair and everytime I look at my check I become irate! What's even more shocking is that the overtime that I do, I end up spending it on my children because their mother doen't buy them suffient clothes or shoes! I still pay for the shoes and clothes and the judges says that it's my responsibility! I found out that my ex-wife had another child by the same guy that is the father of my last child with her and he doesn't pay her any child support! You might ask " How do you know that?" It's because when we went to court she stated in court that he doesn't pay anything and that she hasn't even filed for him to! Child Support Laws need to be re-examined! Should real men that see their children pay for overgrown boys who just make babies and leave?
ReplyDeleteWell,
ReplyDeleteThis is an area that I am too familiar with being that I worked in it for 14 1/2 years. Child Support can best be described as the destroyer of some families.
It is very true that Tennesse did use the percentage law up until 2007 or 2008. Now we have the Income Shares Module. In this excel spreadsheet the caseworker will enter both parties income, visitation dates, medical insurance, other child support orders, in-home children and daycare expenses and the worksheet will give an amount. This worksheet is considered fair.
One main problem with Child Support is the fact that so many overgrown boys make babies with overgrown girls. Some are never held responsible for their actions. It is said that neither party sometimes never realize that the children are the ones that suffer.
And the comment about being married and you being the husband being responsible is exactly right. We as a society must admit to ourselves that when it is over, it is over. Not in your case per say. But, when you part and go separate ways it is best that the filing of the divorce proceedings begin. If you are married and separated and your wife has a baby by another man, you are the father (the husband). Not fair but very true.
We as a society are going to have to take a stand to have all laws viewed. Until we voice our opinions publicly nothing is going to change.
The welfare system has crippled a lot of our families and we must take all parties actions into consideration. Since it involves mother, father and children.
Oh boy where shoud I start, ok I am a mother of three children, ages 10, 11 and 1. My two older children were on benefits from the state because I was working at a job that did not offer insurance. In that time I meet a very wonderful man, got engaged and we had a baby together which is now 1.Now he wrks two full time jobs and TOTALLY takes care of his child plus my other two with NOOOOO problems. Do you know thhe State of Tennessee put my third baby which is his child on the states insurance without my consent stating that what the state does for one child they have to do for the other meaning if my older two kids was on state insurance than my baby had to be too. Now my baby was on his dad's private insurance so he did not need the states insurance but they threw him on it anyway and to top it all off put this man on child support, Ok so now I graduated from the U of M with my bachelor's and I got a new job with benefits, went down the DHS told them that me and my family now has private insurance and we did not need the states help anymore, told them to take me off of that crap and they did. Now rolls around the court date for me and my fiance about this child support issue that the state THREW us on. Don't you know the judge did not listen to this man at all, I had to tell him the he has always took care of his child since the day he was concieved, I told him ( the judge) the story about how the state forced my 1 year old on there insurance and he didn't even need it, The judge did not give a poop about nothing, now me and my fiance has stayed together before the baby even was born, this man ordered him to pay 700 dollars a month for a child that already lives with him and that he takes care of. Now people I do understand that yeah there are some men out there that don't do crap for there kids, hey my first babydaddy don't do NOTHING for my other two, but they don't hound him like they do the men who take care of they kids. The judge trew the book at him and called it a day, I was more hurt about the situation more than anything, we were just railroded into this whole thing, and the only way to get this good man off is to we had to push the wedding date up.... YES MARRIAGE IS THE ONLY WAY,cause like the other person stated once your in the system it is VERY HARD TO GET OUT>.......... signed a very angry mommy of three...
ReplyDeleteI feel for all of you. As I had to raise my two children without child support. My X left the state to keep from paying. TN did not go after the dead-beat mom's or dad's in the 80's. I hope that much has changed. My X didn't come back to TN until our daughter (the youngest) hit 18years. To this day the courts have never made him pay his child support. So I say, be thankful for whatever help you get.
ReplyDeleteAlthough, I don't think it is right to be made to pay for children that aren't yours unless you want to, especially if they have a parent that should and could be paying. Nor do I think they should take your spouse's income in consideration when setting child-support. But I agree, that if you can't pay for your first children, then you should be responsible and not have any more children either.